Jellyfish Day

If you don't laugh out loud after you read this you are 
In a coma! This is even funnier when you realize it's 
Real! Next time you have a bad day at work think of this 
Guy. 


Rob is a commercial saturation diver for Global Divers in 
Louisiana. He performs underwater repairs on offshore 
Drilling rigs. 
 


Below is an e-mail he sent to his sister. She then sent it 
To radio station 103.2 on FM dial in Ft. Wayne, Indiana, who 
Was sponsoring a worst job experience contest. Needless to 
Say, she won. 
 


Hi Sue, Just another note from your bottom-dwelling 
Brother. Last week I had a bad day at the office. I know 
You've been feeling down lately at work, so I thought I 
Would share my dilemma with you to make you realize it's 
Not so bad after all. 
 


Before I can tell you what happened to me, I first must 
Bore you with a few technicalities of my job. 
 


As you know, my office lies at the bottom of the sea. I 
Wear a suit to the office. It's a wet suit. This time of 
Year the water is quite cool. So what we do to keep warm is 
This: We have a diesel powered industrial water heater. This 
$20,000 piece of equipment sucks the water out of the sea. 
It heats it to a delightful temperature. 
 


It then pumps it down to the diver through a garden hose, 
Which is taped to the air hose. Now 
This sounds like a darn good plan, and I've used it 
Several times with no complaints. 
 


What I do, when I get to the bottom and start working, is 
Take the hose and stuff it down the back of my wet suit. 
This floods my whole suit with warm water. It's like 
Working in a Jacuzzi. 
 


Everything was going well until all of a sudden, my butt 
Started to itch. So, of course, I scratched it. This only 
Made things worse. Within a few seconds my butt started to 
Burn. I pulled the hose out from my back, but the damage was 
Done. 
 


In agony I realized what had happened. The hot water 
Machine had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped it into my 
Suit. Now, since I don't have any hair on my back, the 
Jellyfish couldn't stick to it. However, the crack of my 
Butt was not as fortunate. 
 


When I scratched what I thought was an itch, I was actually 
Grinding the jellyfish into the crack of my butt. 
 


I informed the dive supervisor of my dilemma over the 
Communicator. His instructions were unclear due to the fact 
That he, along with five other divers, were all laughing 
Hysterically. 
 


Needless to say I aborted the dive. I was instructed to 
Make three agonizing in-water 
Decompression stops totaling thirty-five minutes before I 
Could reach the surface to begin my chamber dry 
Decompression. 
 


When I arrived at the surface, I was wearing nothing but my 
Brass helmet. 
 


As I climbed out of the water, the medic, with 
Tears of laughter running down his face, handed me a tube 
Of cream and told me to rub it on my butt as soon as I got 
In the chamber. 
 


The cream put the fire out, but I couldn't poop for two 
Days because my butt was swollen shut. 
 


So, next time you're having a bad day at work, think 
About how much worse it would be if you had a jellyfish 
Shoved up your butt. 
 


Now repeat to yourself, 'I love my job, I love my job, 
I love my job.' 
 
Now whenever you have a bad day, ask yourself, is this a Jellyfish bad day? 
 


May you NEVER have a jellyfish bad day.